revenge or forgive ?

As I am writing this which song being played... the song always remind me abt the past event as some of the song lyrics did really match wat I had experience before. Sometime I just wonder did I really forgive the person tht is responsible for my pain or simply am I waiting for the perfect timing to do my revenge on tht person. I also am not tht sure... hais. Even though I did think of some plan for my revenge,  some part of me wonder am I really this type of person?  Truth be told I wan both revenge n I also dun wan to see tht person suffer. But I kinda need to choose one only. Whn I choose revenge I am being pressed down by my guilt but whn I wanna to forgive I am being reminded by the pain. Funny though,  I seriously dun know wat to do. Should I be like my old self where I dun care anything around me? Or should I just continue with wat I am really am which is just keep it to myself n just endure the pain. But some ppl I met really invoke the feelin good of me wanna protect thm but some simply wan me to be mean to thm.... hais too many things in my head now n so more gonna to come. Just wanna say goodbye to poly life n go to uni life. Poly life bring mostly hurtful memory where ppl say things but never do it,  ppl betray each other etc but kinda glad tht it happen cos I can learn from it n poly life also make me meet some fren which is truely worth to be called my fren and worth my time spend on thm >.<